Twists, Slugs & Roscoes

Naw Les Ge Dawn Vol 1

Written by: DR on 22/12/2009 15:49:28

Nearly a century ago, in the 1920s, Hardboiled Detective Fiction was all the rage (or so that reliable mistress The Internet claims). And of course, there was slang to go with this popular literary style. "Twists" means "Women"; "Slugs" means "Bullets"; "Roscoes" means "Guns". Women, Bullets & Guns. Which, quite frankly, I think is a better name than it's pre-translation brother. "Naw Les Ge Dawn" I haven't got a clue about, but that's the title they've chosen, for an album which was released all the way back in 2004. Why, five years later, a review is requested, I also haven't got a clue about. Hey, whatever, on we go.

If any of these three lads are in possession of a dictionary, they should probably look up the word "normal" because this is anything and everything but. Normal is fine; normal is conformity; normal is conventional; normal is average; normal is safe. Normal is normal for a reason, people like normal. Twists, Slugs & Roscoes are not fine, have not conformed, are not conventional, safe or even average. They aspire to average. They are so far below average that they couldn't touch the soles of Average's shoes whilst wearing stilts and jumping like a kangaroo with a buttload of Speed zapping through his veins.

The opening track "Corona" has an aggressive, raw post-hardcore feel to it. It'd be only natural to expect more of the same, right? Don't kid yourself. The second song "Tallu" is... wait for it... a shoddy attempt at reggae. What the actual fuck? Of course, none of it is helped by the terrible production. Seriously, did someone record them practising in a garage and decide to pass it off as an album? The vocals aren't up to much either. I'd be prepared to forgive him if he was a poor singer, or a poor screamer, I'm not prepared to forgive him for violating me with heavy breathing for vocals. But heyyy, at least the lyrics are clever and eloquent:

My friend, sit back, relax don't worry.

We got all night, in no hurry.

Baby, baby yeah me and you are gonna fuck.

I've got guts to suck on your tits.

And just when you reach final track "Naw Les Ge Dawn" there's silence for a few minutes. The ordeal is over. Oh no, they decide to throw in a little extra, because apparently the first 45 minutes weren't torturous enough - it's a cover of that god-awful "Heaven" song originally by Bryan Adams, covered by DJ Sammy. One final complaint: how fucking dare they soundbite Robert De Niro from Scorsese's Oscar-nominated remake of "Cape Fear" in the song "Tallu".

There's not a single redeeming factor anywhere to be found on "Naw Les Ge Dawn Vol 1". Everything about it awful. The vocals, the production, the idea, the execution - it's all crap. This isn't an album I've played once nonchalantly in the background whilst going about my day. I've actually listened to it, three whole times, which is three times more than I'd urge you to listen.


Download: None of it.
For Fans of: Running fast at brick walls, or just general idiocy.
Listen: Myspace

Release date 01.01.2004
Nanda Recording co.

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