Hollywood Undead

Swan Song

Written by: TL on 29/09/2008 23:18:08

What. The. Fuck. Well excuse my French but my initial response to Hollywood Undead's debut album "Swan Song" is a total loss of words. Apparently, until signing with A&M/Octone Records for the release of the album, Hollywood Undead was the most popular unsigned band on myspace. Unless the band took pride in that, that seems to me to be stupid as shit, seeing how their sound seems to be bought and paid for by some horrible corporation, and I don't see why you wouldn't reap the benefits of that. I mean, why sound like a cross between Eminem and Linkin Park if you're not going to get paid?

If that rather accurate description didn't drop your jaw in disbelief, get this. Hollywood Undead is composed of six MC's, all sporting retarded pseudonyms and colourful hockey masks for added mystery. Consider Slipknot with a Hawaii theme. Musically, we're dealing mostly with Eminem-ish ironic hiphop, retardedly pretentious and mostly sugar-coated choruses of the kind your 12 year old sister will find deep, and a dash of screamo so slight and downtuned it's hardly there, even if it is apparently enough for someone to consider this record relevant to the rock scene. Again; What. The. Fuck.

Lyrically, I'm sure that if 50 Cent was to hear this, he'd take a step back and go "man, that's some dumb shit". The level of idiocy and profanity combined with the sound influenced by the three prime evils of music (the third being Tokio Hotel, who I pretend to see a parallel to in some of the more 'emotional' choruses) makes me not only feel like I'm taking corporate cock up the ass and eating shit at the same time, it also makes me feel like I'm getting increasingly stupider by the second.

At fourth listen, either the pop-level catchyness of the tracks have gotten to me, or my intelligence has degenerated to the level of the "band's" music. Choruses start sticking and the feeling of a coming guilty pleasure starts rising. Songs like "Everywhere I Go" (which sounds like a blatant ripoff of Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That Ass") starts sounding like something I'd at least put on while I'm drunk, afterall, the song's one of many that are about getting fucked up, something I'm fortunately not too mature to appreciate yet.

In the end though, Hollywood Undead comes off so infinitely stupid that you'll never confess to liking them if you're out of your early teens, as demonstrated perfectly on "Young". You ain't heard cheeze til you heard that. The funny thing is that the profanity of the more 'gangsta' tracks will most likely secure a Parental Advisory label on the album, and thus keep it out of the hands of the good young Christians of the shit-eating American mainstream, outside of which I have a hard time imagining any potential fans. I'm going to give "Swan Song" one grade above one because of how annoyingly catchy it is, but to anyone who prides themselves of even the faintest notion of good taste, death would still be preferable to being found within listening distance of a speaker playing this music. Even if you dig the pop-influences and the cheeky ironics, you'll prefer Mindless Self Indulgence by lightyears unless you're a complete fuckin' idiot. An embarrasment of epic proportions.


Download: Undead, Everywhere I Go, Young
For The Fans Of: Eminem, Linkin Park, Simple Plan, The Medic Droid
Listen: myspace.com/hollywoodundead

Release Date 02.09.2008
A&M/Octone Records

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