Alice Cooper

Along Came A Spider

Written by: TL on 20/08/2008 22:14:48

Ah, I've been watching sports all day and it's been a horrible day for Danish sports (lost to Spain in soccer and Croatia in handball) - And now that it's over, it seems that the task at hand for me is no less horrible. I'm reviewing an album by a 'band' that was most relevant some 15 years before I was born, and I'll admit it already, my expectations have been pretty low.

Are they defied by the actual record though? Nope. Quite frankly not. Apart from modern production and a curious effect added to the sound here and there, there's absolutely nothing to signify that "Along Came A Spider", Alice Cooper's 18th(!!!) solo album, was recorded in 2008 and not 1978. I'm sure it's not the case, but to any fan of modern rock, it's hard to tell if Alice Cooper has moved stylistically since the conception of his 'shock rock' genre, and the new album's conceptual story about a spider-obsessed serial killer, is less shocking today than your average American reprise of an Asian b-horror-movie.

It's not that there's something wrong with the instrumentation or composition as such - hell, I even guess you could get used to Alice's largely annoying vocalwork, but seriously, I don't see why any modern music-consumer would want to listen to this. Even if you're one for the 70'ies/80'ies nostalgia, I'd say that you're much better off revisiting the classics of the time, rather than waste your time with this failed attempt at reworking the formula.

It doesn't matter that Slash and Ozzy make guest appearances on this album. I wouldn't even had noticed if I hadn't read about. If you imagine how much success a guy would have if he tried to convince the world that rollerdisco's and afro-haircuts were cool again, you should be able to construct an idea about exactly what's wrong with "Along Came A Spider". Alice Cooper might be stating "Hey guys, look at me, I can rock as hard as in the old days", but the answer will inevitably be "Noone cares dude, these days you have to rock harder", and the only thing this album accomplishes, is making me nervous that the upcoming AC/DC album will be nothing but the same re-run of a style of music that is hopelessly outdated. Long time Cooper fans might be able to convince themselves that this is a good album, but everyone else should steer clear.


Download: Vengeance Is Mine
For The Fans Of: Alice Cooper, Kiss, AC/DC

Release Date 29.07.2008
SPV Records

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