Rockfreaks.net

"So last night we played in Copenhagen and it was great and horrible at the same time. We played this really small club, it was overpacked and the doors were closed through all the bands. No fucking oxygen, crappy monitors and just hotter than hell. I ended up playing the last three songs in my damned Willys, constantly feeling like I was gonna puke and pass out. In fact several people did pass out, 'cause the asshole who was in charge wouldn't let our TM open the doors to let some air in. Fucking ridiculous. But what do I know? I'm just an asshole with a mic in a band right? After the show we all felt like we were on fucking downers 'cause the air was so shitty. But hey, I'm sure they sold more beer... Good for them.

"Honestly I feel ripped off. Left out to dry by some asshole who's too worried about other things to get a goddamned functioning ventilation system in the venue, my head is still aching and I'm kinda pissed off because what was a good show could have a been a great show, instead I got through it constantly thinking I was gonna pass out. Gee, thanks... Maybe there´s something about cigarette smokers who run clubs, maybe they just want to keep all that rich tobagooey tar goodness to themselves? Oh yeah... and everyone else who enters their little realm of homemade self destruction.

"'Say, honey, what is that black spot on your lung?'

"'Oh nothing really, just a little something I picked up on tour in some country where they still think it's healthy to breath in burning toxins, you be sure now to tell the kids that Daddy's not coming home again...ever...'

"Why not just grind up a nifty little mixture of raw opium, car tires and while yer at it pour some premium leaded gasoline in it while you're at it. Here. I'll shut the doors, set it on fire and let's all just breath that fine cancer enhancer together... What, you don't smoke? Oh come on, it's a free world! Besides — I like playing a 50% gamble with excruciatingly painful deadly blood clot enducing eademas filling up my breathing organs, building metastasic tissue and those really gross tumor thingies, slowly choking me and offering the prospect of having to amputate my gangreen toes if I grow old, while shrinking my bloodvessels and turning what was once my proud galant hardon into a kinda semi loose not so large droopy and slightly sad looking little softon...

"And guess what?! If I'm lucky and win — I get the prize! A wet cough and lowered cardiovascular function! Besides, my skin has this super cool greyish tone and the lowered white and red blood cell count is just way too cool for school...Oh yeah, and my voice sounds so cool through one of those little microphones you place beneath the hole in your throat. You want some lowgrade polish amphetamine with that cough?

"Did I mention bad breath?

"Anyway...

"I'm glad to say that the Hasselt and Köln shows were incredible. Great audience, just like the one in Copenagen, with that ever so important little thing called oxygene present, might I add. And in spite of the traditional stiffness we've sometimes experienced in Belgium and Germany, these folks seemed to have actually understood that we play music about letting shit out, and going crazy, so: I want to thank everyone who came out to these last shows for being an amazing fucking crowd. You made these shows great, and I am so god damned awed by these last days I'm honestly getting some faith again. Slowly I'm beginning to think there are people who actually go to metal shows to have a GOOD time again, not just to look cool or say they were there... Fuckin' sweet that is! We love you and we're looking forward to the upcoming full European tour. Again, to everyone who came out to the Copenhagen show, sorry about the shitty air, but you all went fucking insane anyway and made it a great night, smiles all around the house the way it ought to fucking be. Hell yes! Thank you!

"Oh, by the way, if you were one of those dudes singing the lyrics in the front row and you still haven't bought the album, you might look into that... still, thanks for some great shows."