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Wolf Devil

Real F*cking Danish Metal

Written by: PP on 28/08/2021 03:19:50

And the troll of the year award goes to... Wolf Devil! Boy, this review almost writes itself. Like ball lightning, jokes this sophisticated are almost never seen in real life. Basically, Wolf Devil is quite probably the greatest and most on-point satire of the Danish metal scene at large that has been, is, and ever will be. I must admit my suspicion when receiving a horrifically sounding record in our mailbox called "Real F*cking Danish Metal" with vague references to being part of a select few with a chance to preview this upcoming masterpiece of a record about a half year back. Seriously, it sounded worse than a DIY demo, so on first listen, it went straight into the bin without further thought...

...and then Wolf Devil unraveled onto the scene after its release in such a spectacular fashion I couldn't but marvel at the velocity and power of its surgical strikes at the heart and soul of Danish metal from just about every direction. First, there was the shock-and-awe tactic featuring massive drama around the serious folk metallers Vanir not taking too kindly to Wolf Devil's purposefully awful cover of the band. Then there were the videos featuring the, erm, vocals if you can call the guttural howls vocals, about getting wasted in High Voltage every night with the boys because that's what real fucking Danish metal is all about, and the all too predictable Karen-style offended reaction of that scene to its depiction of them. Then came the "Ball Of Hell" video during the European Championships claiming to be the bestest one of all of the Danish football team theme songs, outraging the football segment.

Did I mention yet they call their fans Wolfies! and continuously blast their Facebook with memes implying Wolf Devil to be the greatest band in Danish metal since... well, ever? In broken, misspelled English no less? Then you start listening to the lyrics that contain a range of misogyny, more jokes about Copenhell and High Voltage cliché crowds, and even a black metal version of emo called "The Saddest Metal Year" where the main point is that everything is ruined because Covid prevented Copenhell and High Voltage trips from happening. Oh yeah, and the vocals - what the hell is that even?

But what finally convinced me was none of the above. Although hilarious, many are capable of this level of stupidity if given enough free time (of which people had plenty during Corona times). No, it was this utterly magnificent masterstroke that I only noticed a couple of weeks back:

The promo copy MP3s are variable bitrate quality between 39 and 210 kbit (!!). Even back when the internet was first popularized and audio files spread across the web, 128kbit was considered low quality. To send media material that is bitrate 39 like my copy of "The Saddest Metal Year" (the best track on the record, which I will guarantee is no accident) is literally unheard of. After receiving probably closer to 100.000 promotional records over the years, I have never seen this level of retard - not to even mention tracks 2 and 3 don't work at all when you play them :D No artwork provided - but the zip file contains an EMPTY folder called 'Wolf Devil' where you might imagine finding bio and other materials...

"Real F*cking Danish Metal" is simultaneously the greatest guerilla marketing project and a flawless critique on the beer-throwing, battle-vest wearing Danish metal scene at large. That the songs are so bad they are actually good is almost an afterthought: Wolf Devil has delivered the joke of the fucking century here and found a couple of new Wolfies here at Rockfreaks.net.

Utterly brilliant - and make sure you listen to "Christmas Devil" for maximum lulz. Red Warszawa take note here: this is how humour is done (you suck).

Download: Every Night, Christmas Devil, The Saddest Metal Year
For the fans of: Red Warszawa, Vanir, The Hell
Listen: Facebook

Release date 15.05.2021
Real F*cking Danish Metal Records