Steel Panther

All You Can Eat

Written by: BW on 16/03/2014 22:48:18

When doing reviews, it’s normally a good idea to see what other people have thought on the same website before voicing your opinion, which is what I did with Steel Panther before typing away. What I saw though caught me a little by surprise. In the review for ”Feel the Steel” our very own Tim threw anger and facepalms at it, awarding it a 1.5 out of 10. With the new album ”All You Can Eat” about to hit the shelves, my worry began to sink in before hearing the first song, judging possible thoughts on what had come before. With that, an hour of parody and sexual innuendo laced with metal music began.

You know where you’re going with Steel Panther. They’re like Tenacious D with perms and when you look at the first song’s name ("Pussywhipped" for those who are at all interested) you can see where the album is going right from the off. The intro almost sounds like a rip off from Metallica’s classic ”Battery” and then the potty mouths go into overdrive. Hanging balls and sucking things are the order of the day and I have to say the lyrics are pretty poor, but there is apparently a market for this type of thing. Maybe it’s for all those 14 – 16 year olds who wear T-shirts of bands they are clearly not old enough to have known existed and think they know everything about girls/boys/other. It is hard to say, but this song as well as the others give me a major gripe, which I’ll explain later.

As ”Pussywhipped” is about your fine lady not putting out, ”Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World” is about getting your end away as if armageddon is about to happen, with the aid of drink and what else comes to hand. The theme of the album, like most of Steel Panther’s other work, continues right the way through. Feel happy telling your mum you’re listening to ”Gangbanging at the Old Folk’s Home” or maybe use ”She’s on the Rag” as your first dance at the wedding you’ve planned for years. Please don’t forget that soulful classic ”Fu***ng My Heart in the Ass” either. I think the safest thing to say about the album is that you know what you’re going to get from the start, and in that way at least, it doesn’t disappoint.

The major gripe I have with ”All You Can Eat” is that the actual musical side of it all is actually rather tight and nice to listen to. It’s just that they ruin it with these crass and rather dull lyrics. Every song grates on about the same thing. Gloryholes get mentioned, as well as loads of other different sexual persuasions. The vacuum cleaner strength of lyrics about sucking is almost scary and I do wonder if the old wive’s tale is true in that people that talk so much about sex don’t actually get any. Maybe they’re monks in disguise and just need to let out their pent up aggression. The actual song ”Gloryhole” urges you to, and I quote, ”Fill someone with goo at the gloryhole” It gets pretty old really fast and considering there have been two albums out already with this stuff on it this is just one too many.

As I was saying though, if you took the lyrics away and re-recorded all of it with proper verse and choruses I think there would be a pretty nice offering and that is the greatest shame out of all this. The rest of this is tarnished by stuff that wouldn’t be worth remembering. There are a lot of links you can make to Tenacious D with this though. The first album was funny because it was something we weren’t expecting, but the ones after that have disappointed and this is the case here. The only thing I can come up with in all honesty is that with the amount of shagging and spraying of the juices of love that they must have apparently done, the listening public must have gotten as tired as the words chosen in each and every song.

Summarising, the musical part of the album is pretty good and stands up well and is a nice bit of throwback metal, with tight chords and good guitar playing, but the schoolboy words chosen destroy the good work put in in other areas. Do us a favour Steel Panther and actually come up with a proper album. It is something you could do and I think it would be a good change, but please stop giving us this predictable immature garbage. It is not doing anything for anyone now, unless you still think mentioning knobs and lady parts every 20 seconds is a normal human trait, which will mean you love this album wholeheartedly. Good luck finding a life partner......

Add about 3 points if you can buy an instrumental version, but as it is I’ll just score the mental one.

By the way, is it an irony that the album is released on April Fool’s Day?

3

Download: The Burden of Being Wonderful, You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk
For The Fans Of: Metal Skool, Reckless Love, Crazy Lixx, Hardcore Superstar
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Release date 01.04.2014
Open E Music

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