Eskimo Callboy

We Are The Mess

Written by: PP on 13/01/2014 22:54:54

It takes about three seconds to establish that "We Are The Mess" is going to be a terrible listen for anyone with half a brain at their disposal. I mean, starting your album with a Harlem Shake sample on "CSTRP"!? What were Eskimo Callboy thinking!? Granted, it's only an intro track, but moments later, enter screamed rapping, a crunk rhythm that would make Hollywood Undead blush, and a lyrical gem of "We love you more than ever but we made metal gay!" that concludes the most retarded of album openers I've heard in the past couple of years. And here I was thinking that crunk died a deservedly painful and brutal death as soon as that stuff got popular.

If it wasn't for the constant inclusion of pop humour references (read: terrible internet humour), the dubstep-infested electronic breakdowns, the consistent one-chord chugging, the copy/paste songwriting style where a song switches from post-hardcore to dubstep to symphonic black metal to eurotrance to whatever the latest trend in electronic music is, this could actually be an album worth listening - on occasion. Granted, a song like the title track is catchy as fuck for the lack of a better expression, but it's also shallow and cheap, and totally transparent in its trend-hugging. The rapcore bits in "Party At The Horror House" may turn into groove meets screaming meets crunk, but I'm mostly pushed in the direction of I Set My Friends On Fire and Attack Attack! in terms of references, and we all know how those bands turned out in the end.

If the musical depth isn't much to hurrah for in the first place, then you also have the mind-numbingly stupid interlude tracks like "#elchtransformed", which basically consists of two recorded prank calls from Germany to a pizza place in the USA. Why was this necessary to put on the album? Luckily it's the only such idiocy on the album other than "CSTRP", but it only serves to reinforce the idea that Eskimo Callboy have negative intellectual depth on their album. I mean take a listen to a song like "Jagger Swagger" and try to imagine these guys going home at the end of the day after recording a song like this, let alone "We Are The Mess", and thinking "god damn we wrote a brilliant song today". It's a sad state of affairs when lowest common denominator music like this copy/paste songwriting is deserving of over 100,000 Facebook fans. Just imagine the guy from YouTube hit "Show Me Your Genitals" - which is also referenced on the album by the way - and you know the sort of depth we're at lyrically. Musically, the dubstep electro metalcore scheit isn't much better. Yes, parts of it are catchy, but so is the fucking plague.


Download: We Are The Mess, Party At The Horror House, Never Let You Know
For the fans of: Hollywood Undead, Attack Attack!, I Set My Friends On Fire, Asking Alexandria
Listen: Facebook

Release date 14.01.2014
Redfield Records

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