A Band Of Orcs

Warchiefs Of The Apocalypse

Written by: PP on 18/12/2010 05:33:07

Normally I don't quote much from press releases and/or biographies because they are worthless in judging the quality of an album, but the one by A Band Of Orcs goes far enough for it to essentially sum up their entire record: "A Band of Orcs is the product of Gruesom Grimp’s wicked sense of humor. He was out cruising this dimension of the multi-verse when he happened upon a group of kids playing role-playing games. The GM was about to roll for a random encounter. The Grimp feeling a tickle from his ma’s side of the family (the gremlin side) thought it would be hella funny if the next encounter the GM rolled actually came through to this side and scared the living’ bejeebees out of the gamers. Player 1: “Do we encounter anything?” Player2: “Yeah, like ogres or somethin’?!?!", GM: “Let me see (sound of dice rolling)…you encounter…A BAND OF ORCS!!!!”.

I'm not kidding you. That's copy-pasted from their Last.FM biography.

Please, is there any one of you who actually finds this funny instead of lame as fuck? Who the fuck would come up with that and think "oh that's a pretty cool concept lets run with that"!? Jesus! Or are most of you like me, thinking this band must be fucking retarded, have no sense of humour whatsoever, consisting of only nerds who play World of Warcraft? Is there a better way to let the world know you suck? I don't think so...after all, anybody who plays a game that's based on a coin flip/throw of dice philosophy determining if you are good or not while pretending like they're having fun doing repetitive tasks for 8 hours a day, is a fucking loser in my eyes.

As such, it's not surprising at all that "Warchiefs Of The Apocalypse" is an extremely generic, by-the-books sort of death metal album that offers about zero (maybe even negative?) to the genre. Not only are the song structures amateurish, but the album lacks quality riffs, or more precisely, quality anything

Stylistically, the band adheres to a generic death metal formula, borrowing heavily from the genre heavyweights without adding even the slightest bit of originality to the mix. They are meant to sound like Morbid Angel meets Slayer, but they are neither fast enough for the latter or brutal enough for the former. Instead, they sound like one of the most generic, least original DM band's I've come across. Avoid at all costs.

3

Download: Don't.
For the fans of: Morbid Angel
Listen: Myspace

Release date 13.01.2010
Grimpire Entertainment

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