Call The Cops

Call The Cops

Written by: PP on 05/08/2010 05:47:19

Listening to the self-titled debut album by Call The Cops is akin to the experience one has with the newest Attack Attack! album. You wanna kick your brain in because you can't take it seriously since it's so very clearly garbage, but yet you know it's gonna go down like cold beer on a sunny afternoon for the kids who are into this 'scene'. Nope, Call The Cops don't play metalcore. They specialize in electro pop/rock, also known as 'bubblegum pop' in some circles. You know, sugarcoated and auto-tune riddled vocals, overpolished and a million times overproduced, nothingsaying 'electro' soundscape. Except these guys take it a step further, and make what was previously poppy feel like a Rolling Stone record.

So I've decided to dub it with something new. Henceforth, Call The Cops will be referred to as 'teddybear pop', a reference to the age group this material should realistically appeal to. So if you're in your late teens or early 20s and you're listening to this crap, well, maybe you should go put on a diaper or something so you don't crap your underwear. It honestly sounds like it is geared towards 12 year olds, and that's me being generous with the age. At least Cash Cash, their obvious inspiration, have some infectious vocal harmonies and ultra catchy dance melodies. Call The Cops....well, they have two remotely memorable tracks in the beginning of the album, after which they rehash the same synthesized dance beat and boring, or shall I say non-existent, drumming for the rest of the album for some good ol' filler material. I'm sure it's all programmed - it's too mind-numbingly simple for anyone to play seriously and consider themselves a 'musician'. It has to mean something when I consider The Jonas Brothers more talented than these retards.

Some songs are truly awful - like the female guested "White Dress" with its stupid R'n'B influence that almost makes Justin Bieber tolerable - whilst others are ok, but none leave an impression on the listener. It's like listening to a joke taken too far - it's just not funny anymore. But with 6 million Myspace plays already, I'm sure these teddybear popsters will explode into the radios overseas soon, and proceed to disappear as quickly as they appeared by this time two years from now. Avoid like the plague.

3

Download: Like It Like That
For the fans of: Cash Cash, The Jonas Brothers, Boys Like Girls
Listen: Myspace

Release date 22.06.2010
Myspace Records

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