The Dead Lay Waiting

We Rise

Written by: AP on 23/10/2009 18:31:01

What on Earth were Rising Records thinking when they welcomed these newcomers to their roster? One glance at the band's MySpace page should be enough to discourage most readers from dipping their dicks in this rabid whore, but to those who insist on doing so anyway, please read this safety bulletin before doing anything stupid. The Dead Lay Waiting are a disgusting, visual kei wanking, superficial teenage machine claiming to represent modern death metal, when in fact their music corresponds to a steaming pile of metalcore shit so adolescent it would make even our scene aficionado cringe in vomitory spasms.

Unfortunately the task of reviewing this abhorrence has fallen to me, which means that whatever little credit the band probably deserves, will not be awarded regardless. Instead you will have to settle for a battery of sentences consisting mainly of various synonyms for the word repugnant. Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is possibly the worst album released this year: "We Rise". Approach with caution, as the album has been produced in a mean, devious manner that lures us into thinking that the opening track "Anxiety" is actually rather catchy and decent. Until you listen to it in depth. Do not be fooled by the glossy production, the layered clean vocals in the chorus, nor the initially acceptable instrumentation - all of these things are mooched from other, better bands. Bands that don't merely exploit every teen-scene-queen's inexplicable endearment of edgy, over the top vocalists like Oli Sykes.

Oli Sykes and his (admittedly fantastic) band, however, will seem acceptable to even their most sworn haters when they come across this band. Having read interviews with the aforementioned, it is at least obvious that Bring Me The Horizon create music out of passion and the need for a cathartic outlet. This monstrosity on the other hand, was almost certainly born out of the idea that it would be, like, sick to be in a band and, like, live out the sex, drugs and rock n' roll fantasy by whatever means available. In this case the band went where the fence stood lowest and began stitching together breakdowns with brief moments of trite nth-generation Gothenburg melody. Once this pseudo-musical base was complete, it was made worse by some brutal growling (think Oli Sykes when he was twelve or something) and overproduced wailing.

The British press have of course extended a helping hand by adorning the album with positive reviews, and ensured the scene sheep will flock to their shows by the hundreds, thus keeping this abomination alive and growing. International publications such as ours must therefore be in the other trench, spewing hateful rhetoric and ridiculing this band in every way possible to prevent future manifestations of the same problem. When an album causes you to feel that you would rather have your testicles severed than more of these synthetic, pathetic, horrific mallcore monsters, this is your cue to press stop and bin it. Unfortunately being a diligent scribe means that I have had to listen through this more than once just to ensure there was no other synonym for repugnant that I could possibly still have used to warn you away, so dear readers, you fucking owe me.


Download: 50S, The Last Stand

For the fans of: Hello Kitty, Playdough, Pokemon

Listen: Myspace

Release date 23.10.2009


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