The Subways

All Or Nothing

Written by: TL on 21/08/2008 01:03:56

Those who frequent this site, and especially my reviews, might have noticed that I read the British magazine Rock Sound regularly, mostly to keep updated on bands that aren't getting promoted over here in the promised land of 'indielectro' and generic metal. Recently the magazine has featured a substantial amount of hype over The Subways' new album "All Or Nothing", and that has made me wonder, just how much dick that band has had to suck on the editorial staff to buy all that praise?

You see on "All Or Nothing", The Subways seem like a band who's foremost aspiration is to get as big as possible by doing as little as possible. Songs called "Girls & Boys" with choruses that go "The girls and booooys! The girls and boooooys! The girls and booooys! AaaAaaAaah!", and pretentious "HUARH"'s instead of verses showcase just how low the content-meter is showing for The Subways, and then you can add to that, that the band is a classical three-piece and as such is constricted in every way possible, having only one guitar doing ordinary stuff, and one bass that, again, only does what it has too and little more. Being a mainstream act, it's also obviously completely out of the picture to think of deviating from predictable pop song structure, that is except when it sounds like an attempt is made on ripping off The Thrills on "Move To Newlyn" - Hell if The Subways had a banjo and a soul, they might have pulled it off, but no, the 'reflective' lyrics would smell fake in a Baywatch bathing suit, sorry.

Okay, sure, it's not the worst record of the decade. There's tunes here that'll stick to your mind like the gum on the underside of a gradeschool table, and it'll get piles of your girl friends dancing and humming along sure enough - Shit, I'm tapping my foot while listening to it right now, so no, on some level it's not all bad. Personally though, I find "All Or Nothing" as artistically saturating as a happy meal, in all honesty, I don't feel like spending another moment of my time on it, and unless you really need something fatally uninteresting to serve as your audio-wallpaper I don't suggest you do either. Steer clean of this corporate, faceless, mass-produced mediocrity.


Download: Girls And Boys, Shake Shake, Moving To Newlyn
For The Fans Of: The Raveonettes, The Thrills,

Release Date 19.08.2008
Sire Records

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