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Attack Attack!

Attack Attack!

Written by: PP on 29/07/2010 15:42:44

Oh boy, here we go. Attack Attack!, or as most people know them, the 'crabcore' band, have become the most hated musical outfit that isn't BrokenCYDE or Blood On The Dancefloor (or whatever they are called). All thanks to idiotic fringes and the retarded synchronized headbangs in their video "Stick, Stickly", which many considered to be proof that crab people really exist. But you know what? Their debut album "Someday Came Suddenly" was, as long as you were able to ignore its negative image and other stupidities associated with it, actually quite fucking good. It was a neon-metalcore-emo listener's wet dream with it's ultra-poppy clean vocal choruses, punishing breakdowns and infectious synth melodies. And I'm saying that despite the risk of destroying my musical credibility by saying so. So I wouldn't blame anyone for cautiously looking forward to their eponymous sophomore album "Attack Attack!". However, if you still like Attack Attack! after listening to this album.....man the harpoons, someone call the firing squad, it's time for a good ol' lynching.

You see, since their debut album, we have every reason to believe that the band's main songwriter has either committed suicide, quit the band and vanished from the earth, or alternatively, he has taken some coma-inducing medicine that has prevented him from formulating anything even slightly reasonable to his guitarists. There are two, maximum three riffs chords notes to the guitars counting across the whole album, all consisting of chug...chugchugchug... chugchug...chug in exactly the same octave. There are tracks which I simply refuse to believe are songs, because repeating the same chord ad infinitum does not a song make. It is pseudo-heavy Joey Sturgis metalcore catered to mindless 14 year old scene kids who think this shit is fucking br00tal etc while anyone with a sense for music is banging their head against the wall because these guys are effectively poisoning our youth. It's on par with the "OH MY GOD" breakdowns in Asking Alexandria, except worse. Granted, Attack Attack! were never excellent 'riff' composers, but at least in the past, they had fantastic synths masking their lack of ability to write anything interesting on guitar, but these have been pushed to side in favour of....well, I wish I could say something here, but there's actually no content that has arrived in replacement. And what's worse, the robo-tuner that characterized these guys in the past has been replaced with merely auto-tuned clean singing, a change in wrong direction if you ask me, because it's not like they were hiding its usage in the past, and that's what made some of the melodies irresistible.

Occasionally, a hint of something decent lifts its hand from the quicksand in an almost desperate call for help, even though we all know it's too late. "Renob Nevada", for instance, morphs into hardcore - almost hardcore punk in fact - given its high-octane tempo, but why oh why must this also be broken down into meaningless chugging soon after. Considering the first song is breakdown only, and the songs after are breakdown only, why is it necessary to inject breakdowns here, too? And anyway, two songs later, the band starts choking in the sand....because what the FUCK is "Shut Your Mouth"? A rave song with R'n'B and synth electronics? Trust me, it sounds exactly as bad in real life as it does on paper. It's HORRIBLE in every possible way. If it was a joke, it could be acceptable, but the worst part about it is that I'm fully certain that Attack Attack! wrote it, as well as the other cancerous cell known as "Fumbles O Brian", 100% seriously. There's stupidity, there's idiocy, and then there's Attack Attack!, apparently. Need I mention that there's a track called "Smokahontas". Are you fucking kidding me? As a final note of positivity, however, it has to be said that Sturgis has once again done a solid job on the production, giving the breakdowns some much needed oomph...but it doesn't change the fact that Attack Attack! aren't even 'generic' anymore. They're just outright horrible. Let the shitstorm begin.

Download: Renob Nevada, AC-130
For the fans of: I Set My Friends On Fire, Asking Alexandria, Of Mice & Men, I See Stars, We Came As Romans
Listen: Myspace

Release date 08.06.2010
Rise Records